It took a few months before Jake and I began to hang out again.
But then one afternoon, after we'd both (independently) moved out of D. to return to New York, I was getting my hair cut at my old favorite place--Antonio Prieto--when it dawned on me that I was just down the street from Jake's new office.
At that point, though, you just need to start dating. If you've ended serious relationships because you refused to give up your best friend in any capacity, that says a lot. They always know how to cheer you up when you're down.
If you're looking for a major, giant, neon flashing sign that you belong together, this is as good as any.
Make sure whomever needs the help gets some treatment, and then let the dust settle for a month or two. And I think failed relationships really can teach us many valuable lessons that make it easier to make subsequent ones work. (Also, don't forget that even Harry and Sally broke up once before they finally got back together forever!