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I confronted her once more and she confessed that she was back on Ashley Madison, sleeping with married men. I tried to stay with her and work it out for three more months, but she ultimately revealed herself to be someone I didn’t want to be with. The breach, needless to say, made it come back all at once. My girlfriend of one year (we started dating after my wife and I separated) was a little confused as to why I was still so upset. “When you’re betrayed in this way, to this degree, you become traumatized and experience post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms.

She tried arguing that it would help our marriage, bring some spice into the relationship, and that being on Ashley Madison was a plus: Since everyone’s married, there’s no incentive to expose the other person. “You’re seeing things in black and white when there is so much more nuance to it.” But really, there wasn’t. The breach, needless to say, made it come back all at once,” says Matthew of hackers finally exposing Ashley Madison users last week.

When we were together, she wasn’t into oral stuff, she wasn’t into kinky stuff — but on the site, she checked all the boxes: “I like to give oral,” “I like to get oral.” Had you asked me two years ago if I ever imagined S would cheat on me, no less on a site like Ashley Madison, the answer would have been a vehement no.