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After 15 minutes of being ignored, I decided to leave.

I stopped to bum a cigarette on my way out and overheard a group of older men who were smoking nearby talking about my date. "As I turned to walk away, he stumbled out of the bar after me -- quite obviously sloppy to the point of nearly blacking out.

Do you have two friends who can maintain minimally acceptable eye contact and aren't gross? And also because "you can either talk in three pairs of two, just with your friends, or as a group".

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It seemed he was desperate for me to A) ask who this mystery girl was; B) say nasty things about her in return.