If we make a suggestion to go somewhere together, they make some excuse and go alone. At first I thought I did something wrong but I really don’t know what.
And they really go all individually, so it’s not like they are only avoiding me.
It’s possible that they’ve always been a “go to lunch on your own” kind of group and they changed that temporarily when you started your job there in order to welcome you and be friendly — but now they want to get back to their usual way of doing things. Something might have made them not want to have lunches together anymore. If they seem to chit-chat with each other at work but never with you, that points to it being something more personal.
There are a ton of things that could have caused this — everything from one person drinking too many margaritas at lunch and making everyone uncomfortable, to someone never paying her own way and sticking the rest of the group with the bill, to one person being far pickier about where to eat than the rest of them wanted to be, to just realizing that you’ve all grown apart since school and they don’t feel the same bond they used to feel. They might have started to feel that the group lunches were out of sync with the rest of the office’s culture. It’s possible that something happened that made them feel they don’t click with you as well as they were hoping for, or maybe you don’t realize that you said something horribly offensive about someone’s dog or kid or shirt or work ethic. On the other hand, if they continue to be warm and friendly with you when you encounter them and it’s just the lunches that have stopped, it might be one of the other explanations.
That being said, I really want to beef up these Friday Chit Chats.