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In general, every society attempts to control sexual activity among unmarried (and married) persons, but the forms of control (e.g., chaperonage) and the degree of enforcement have varied.
Virginity, especially in women, is highly prized and guarded in some cultures but has no special value in others.
In the North, mate choice was participant run, but a suitor's father had control over the timing of marriage since he could delay the release of an adequate section of family land to his son while the son's labor was still needed.
Conjugal (but not romantic) love was thought to be the sine qua non of marriage, and couples came to know and trust one another during often lengthy courtships.
During the 1800s, mate choice became more autonomous with the growth of cities and the spread of industrial employment.