"You have an obligation to your kids to stay friendly -- or at least civil -- with your former spouse," says Neuman. So, I tried my hardest and used the greatest gift to divorced parents everywhere: e-mail.Hashing out sensitive topics this way allowed me to cool down before responding.My children learned just how much we all have to depend on each other -- and on others -- to function as a family.
No matter what the latest study said about the damaging effects of a broken home, I tried to remember that my boys and I were much more than a statistic -- and that our home wasn't broken.
"Children grow up fine as long as parents love them and raise them thoughtfully," says Dr. "You need to be optimistic."After being a single mom for three years, I discovered things about myself I'd never had the opportunity to find out when I was married: I was independent and accomplished, and I was able to run a household, bring home a paycheck, and take excellent care of my kids.
When my sons, Jacob and Isaac, were just 3 and 1, my husband and I separated.
As a child of a divorce, I'd always sworn that I'd never put my kids through that -- yet as it turned out, living paycheck to paycheck and trying to do our own growing up while raising a family proved to be too great a strain on our marriage: It bent, cracked, and finally broke.
So I began to really focus on figuring out what mattered and what didn't.