Dating jokes quotes

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

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To celebrate, here are 15 jokes from Seinfeld to make you laugh.

“Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” “The Swiss have an interesting army.

“Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we’ve grown. He’s down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs.

No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it’s not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. No such thing.” – Jerry from , Season 4, Ep 15 “The Visa” Yes, Jerry Seinfeld turns 59 today and we’d like wish the Brooklyn-born comedian and Mets fan a happy birthday. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I’m sure they’d give him a raise.” “I will never understand why they cook on TV.

That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks. One time I went into a hotel, I asked the bellhop to handle my bag - he felt up my wife. " Ladybugs Rodney Dangerfield (Al Czervik): Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.