(For non-regular readers, I’m 31, and not married or a parent! And whilst there was some variance from city to city, the majority of the world gave similar answers. But perhaps that’s because I would consider myself a ‘Time Out-er’. In all honesty, as I read through the list, I couldn’t help thinking they were the kind of deadlines I would have drawn up as a teenager, when I still believed I would only ever have sex with men I was in love with. We look at our lives, and our expectations and try to set acceptable targets. How long should you wait to call yourself ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. 6 dates according to the world And boyfriend and girlfriend? To be honest, most of the Time Out results were figures I agreed with. I think 3 months is really quick to tell someone you love them …If the other person flinches at this point, that's a fairly definitive sign that your goals are unlikely to be mutual. As I told her, three dates is probably too soon to make a commitment -- but not too soon to sound out if she and the guy she's seeing are on the same page in terms of what they both want.
When it comes to the "talk," men's reluctance is all about the latter.
Any dude old enough for a 30 year-old woman to sleep with without violating state law is old enough to handle a discussion about the possibility of a shared future by the end of the third date.
But Joanna isn't worried about those guys who are adamant that they will never marry, certain that that kind of commitment isn't for them.
The ones who are more problematic are those who -- often while already well into their 30s or beyond -- are "open" to marriage somewhere in the very distant future, and only after they are, as they imagine must surely happen, "struck by certainty." It is these latter lads with whom one needs to have a serious conversation by the end of the third date.
On the other hand, I don't want to wait indefinitely.