Because you are hesitant about when to reveal your status, please visit the ASHA website (ashasexualhealth.org). It includes a section on relationships, suggestions about when to tell someone, how to talk to a partner, reactions to expect, etc.
Another website that has been mentioned in my column before is
Herpes is most easily spread when a sore is present, but, it is also often spread at other times too.
Similarly, if you have active genital herpes and have vaginal or anal intercourse, you can give your partner genital herpes.
Finally, if you have a cold sore and put your mouth on your partners genitals (oral sex), you can give your partner genital herpes.
I believe in being polite, so I have reached the point of just nodding my head or responding with a yes or no most of the time. Because you consider their questions invasive and you need boundaries, you will have to set them.
A way to do that would be to tell the questioner that the query is a personal one, and you prefer not to share that kind of information with strangers.
This is called "Asymptomatic Transmission." Many genital herpes infections are spread from persons who are asymptomatic "Shedders" of the virus.