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” she chided sarcastically, getting a good chuckle at my expense before being rewarded with an angry scowl from my end.“Oh, well that's not a very pretty face, now is it sweetie?

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“It's time to wake up sweetie, you've got a big couple days ahead of you.” she cooed, gently touching my shoulder.

I, however, was having none of it—I still wanted to see if the evil spaceman was going to succeed in his plot to steal the magic bubblegum from the local dinosaurs—no one ever said dreams had to make sense.

I let out a soft sigh and gave myself an encouraging “Here we go...” before hopping down off the side of the crib and starting the dead-man stroll across the room to the table.

My melodramatic gesture was cut short, however, by the loud sound of Mommy clearing her throat and a piercing stare.

I'm really not in the mood to change you today, nor am I in the mood for a smelly baby, so I came up with a plan...” With that, I felt something much bigger being forced into my tight back passage, with none of the gentleness of before.