We’ve been inundated with a psychology that has us seeing everybody, at least to some degree, as afraid, insecure or “hung-up.” So, while our gut tells us we’re dealing with a ruthless conniver, our head tells us they must be really frightened or wounded “underneath.” What’s more, most of us generally hate to think of ourselves as callous and insensitive people.
We hesitate to make harsh or seemingly negative judgments about others.
Sometimes, we’re aware of these weaknesses and how someone might use them to take advantage of us.
For example, I hear parents say things like: “Yeah, I know I have a big guilt button.” – But at the time their manipulative child is busily pushing that button, they can easily forget what’s really going on.
Seeing the aggressor as on the defensive in any sense is a set-up for victimization.