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Now I know you’re excited and can’t wait to dive into your new world of textual exploration but slow down. The first mistake was hunting down a phone number on Facebook like Joey Greco from Cheaters but that’s a whole other set of issues.

Her text was “UGH” and he responded with the word “Pic.” Was she really going to say “Wow, this stalker found my number, revealed who he was to my dismay, and now he wants a provocative picture of me? ” To make matters even worse, he waits ten hours or so and this time puts PIC in all caps like maybe yelling it in her face will change her mind.

I thought I’d come over and say hello before you caught me staring.

Hi, I’m a professional wrestler - can I get you in a headlock?

) Sorry you lost, you'll have to take off all your clothes. Do you want to go and do what I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway? You look like the type of guy/girl who's heard every line in the book...

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