I want to tell them I have found a Sight of outstanding natural beauty. My friend thinks you're hot, and if it's any consolation so do I. Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite, would you like a shag?
I don't suppose you know the number for the Ordinance survey?
Could you try calling it for me to see if it rings? My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear!
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My friends over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the fittest person in the room. [Attempt to rub it off] It won’t come off - it must be eternal...
Excuse me, you’ve got something on your face [look closer] Oh, I think it’s beauty.
) Sorry you lost, you'll have to take off all your clothes. Do you want to go and do what I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway? You look like the type of guy/girl who's heard every line in the book...