The decision to divorce never comes lightly and every divorced person I meet feels as if they mourned the marriage before the separation.
I feel like I’ve already been through those famous five stages of grief–denial with all the years I stayed in something unhealthy, bargaining was the last few years when I urged him to get counseling and tried to forgive him. I actually feel a huge wave of relief and happiness and hope for a future of actual love and that I might someday find a guy who can be kind and compassionate the way I am and the way I deserve.
My question is this: How long is it necessary to wait before getting back into the dating scene?
Post separation is an emotional roller coaster and thinking you’ve mourned fully during the marriage is a sure sign that you are not very far down the path of emotional recovery. Those people may also be on the rebound, they may be narcissists that specifically look for vulnerable women, but healthy people want to be with someone that has some distance from their marriage.
It is natural to be curious about what is out there and to desperately crave love and passion after a bad marriage. My advice is to go to counseling, take a few months to sort out the legal stuff and then, once the legal stuff is signed and dealt with, date.
I just really believe that love may be possible for me after all and I don’t want to quash any potential dates on the basis of some arbitrary rule.