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Quite frankly, they’re the filters through which we perceive one another, at first.

My hope is that neither men nor women come together on the first, second or any date pretending to be someone we’re not.

Whether or not we’re savvy enough to articulate what tips us off, we’re still taking you in. The more you talk about her and the more passionately, emphatically or angrily you do, the more clearly she comes into focus. And while plenty of people have found happiness with the first person they met after a divorce, the fear of being the rebound still exists.

Which is to say, no woman wants to be the one you turn to when you feel like an emotional basket case to only be left in the dust the moment you feel better about yourself. That’s not the end of the world either, or cause for us to ask for the check.

As women, the judgments and fears we bring to a date are not without merit.