Either way it is a scary scenario for those little people. Don’t ask too many banal questions of them – kids hate that. Rule No.3 Don’t even think about trying to be their new mummy. And if through some tragedy she is not around anymore, they’ve still got a mummy.
Throw dad’s new girlfriend into the mix and it just adds more uncertainty to their lives. Too many people push new partners into their kids’ lives in a bid to normalise things, where instead a more circumspect approach is prudent. Of course, children of different ages need different approaches, but when it comes to discipline, for the most part leave it to dad.
So you might be tempted to let it slide if a guy doesn’t see his kids often "because his ex is crazy" or he "wasn’t ready to be a dad." But don’t.
Rule No.2 Meet the children when they’re ready, and not before. They want the world they inhabit to be safe and recognisable.
If their dad is dating it is because he has separated from their mother or he is widowed.
You likely can’t drop everything for a date, or sleepover mid-week, so this means you really need to keep the communication flowing to compensate for the lack of face time.
If he’s not down to chat for twenty-minutes on the phone or Skype after your baby is asleep, he’s not dating material for you. Deadbeat Dad You may know how crazy it can be to coordinate with an ex when it comes to visitation and finances.
If you have a check list of attributes you seek in a potential partner and one of them is that they be child-free, you’re denying yourself access to a pool of wonderful men for no good reason.