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"I was looking to have a conversation and then meet for a coffee, or meet in the park.

So I was more drawn to the ones that liked to sky dive, or liked to ski, or play lacrosse.

"You could get a lot of sexually transmitted diseases," she'd said over the phone, swiping through a carousel of pouty female twenty-somethings.

"I don't think you should just hook up for casual sex.

Or, more accurately, a stranger my mom met when she was pretending to be me on her phone.