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In New York or elsewhere, a date can so often be a setup for failure; we are typically sitting down with a relative stranger working feverishly to put forward our most attractive, intelligent self, while at the same time scoping out the other person to see if they might be a fit…and to boot, we’re supposed to look casual and relaxed while doing it! Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Make a list of things that give you pleasure and find opportunities to go out and do them.

For many of us, this is a recipe to get stuck in our head, to feel nervous or frustrated, or to “check out.” What’s more, consider what you’d identify as the ingredients to a successful relationship. As you become a better you, you will naturally attract more desirable people to connect with. Though the possibilities here are endless, many gay men find particular meaning in getting involved with an LGBT organization or charity.

Everyone wants to stand out from the crowd, but penning a perfect profile can be daunting.

To help get to grips with what to say, and more importantly, what not to say, we asked Ace Mc Cloud, life coach and author of the Amazon best-seller, Online Dating: Master the Art of Internet Dating.

On top of it all, the millions of people living on top of each other in NYC creates a false sense of expendability…how many of us have seen potential dating prospects disappear in the blink of an eye? Instead of dedicating energy to navigating the difficult world of gay dating, I suggest these two tips: 1.