Black men have used this as a reason why they prefer the more “calm, level-headed” White woman.
The problem with this concept is two-fold: Anyone can be angry, even non-Black women. You want respect and to be spoken to like a man, but make sure you’re giving the Black woman that same respect back.
However, rooted in a white supremacy structure, White women are always assigned presumed innocence and purity, and it’s that very innocence that has gotten Black men wrongfully imprisoned or killed. Yes, but this comes from being a double minority; it comes from being oppressed not only by White people, but by the only other person you’d hope would understand oppression and not inflict it upon you, but does so anyway based on gender: the Black man. However, if a Black woman does get an attitude with you, ask yourself: Why? If you don’t, don’t expect bad behavior to be met with kind words and non-reaction.
It’s true that some Black women have had to fill the shoes of Black men in cases where the men have been removed from our community due to mass incarceration, where the men have chosen not to fulfill their responsibilities as fathers, or where the woman’s level of financial success has scared away some men based on his insecurity.
However, just because a Black woman may not need a man to be a provider, this doesn’t dismiss her need to have him as a partner.
Alternatively, have you ever seen a woman with a good man who loves and respects her? Think about the rage you feel living as a Black man in a country that has been and is systematically discriminating against and killing you and your community. If your woman caught you texting three other women after you were just telling her how much you love her and being with her, does that not warrant anger/attitude?
If you prefer White women because they allow you to behave any type of way, then own up to the fact that it’s not that Black women have attitudes, it’s that you feel you have the right to disrespect women and suffer no consequences for it. You carry struggles and endure sufferings that no other human being would have the strength to survive, and yet, you’re still here.
If you are someone that catches attitudes often, own up to the fact that the frustration from the struggle can spill over into the way you to talk to a man.