I denied this one until the proof was physically shoved into my face. If I had known right from the start that he had found a secretary who did way more than order donuts for meetings and answer phones, I could have saved myself a whole lot of humiliation. I wasted non-refundable hours of my life wondering who this person was, what she looked like, what her story was, was she hot, was she young or old, did she have kids, what did she have that I didn’t??? As poor betrayed Addison on Grey’s Anatomy once said, “I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me.” Why would you? Don’t waste a precious second of it giving them another thought.
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Coach your girlfriend/boyfriend accordingly before this meeting (Disclaimer: I’m not talking about putting up a fake face to your parents.
I’m only emphasizing that they need to put their best feet forward when they meet them).
As one of my friend’s husbands said, “She kind of looks like she was rode hard, and put away wet.” So all of that going ape-shit with curiosity was for naught. Trust me, though, the Divorce Diet isn’t known for its longevity. Gone is the baggage that you and your now-former husband kept in the bedroom. There is none of the pretending to be asleep when you feel that hand under the covers, or when you are 100% sure that’s not the remote you feel poking you in the back. And even if the sex is less than awesome, you get the freedom of NOT HAVING TO DO IT AGAIN.
It was like waiting for some ominous test results (like the HIV test I took, literally the day after I found out about Secretary) and then finding out it’s nothing. After a while, life settles down and you start to feel human again, and your past comforts will do what they have always done best: comfort you. There are no more feelings of guilt for not wanting it. With single sex, you most likely have a very limited window of time to do the deed, in addition to the dinner/movie/Segway tour that leads to the nookie (yes I said Segway tour. And again and again for 12 mind-numbing years…oops. It’s kind of a sick thrill to get ready for a date and wonder what Bachelor #3 has in his bag of tricks.
Help them know each other and familiarize with each other.