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Custody is not about getting exactly what you want, or even demanding equity at any cost.

"The hardest part for co-parents is remembering that time with the child is not a prize to be won, but a gift to be cherished," Pisarra says.

Shared custody works best when both parents set aside their ego and realize that what is best for the child is not always what feels good for you as a parent.""Often during a separation or divorce, parents make unrealistic custody grabs based on fear or insecurity," says Laura Wasser, a celebrity divorce attorney in Los Angeles and author of the new book It Doesn't Have to Be That Way.

Instead, look at custody as a business arrangement. The career and social commitments of each parent 4.

Expert after expert (most of whom were divorced themselves) repeated this: Don't speak poorly about your ex.