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The profusion of kinky folk can get fairly terrifying at times, especially if, like me, your sexual appetites are fairly tame.

One woman sent me an email with a five point list of things she wanted to do to me.

As few people actually bother deleting their profile, part of the torment of using OKC is wondering whether the person you've messaged is ignoring you or simply met a lovely bloke six months ago.

Mind you, it’s not all bad – there are plenty of lovely women on there, and the site has a huge success rate in matching partners.

But seriously, sometimes things go so wrong—like endless date with a cringe-worthy guy wrong—that you can't help but wonder why you're on the app in the first place.

Well, SELF asked to hear your dating app horror stories, and you guys answered.

Help Spruce the penguin find love on @Plenty Of Fish – Ru Y5m A XMXx K8D — Weymouth SEA LIFE (@SEALIFEWeymouth) May 19, 2017 For one, he’s only a year old. ” The profile was posted by the Weymouth Sea Life Adventure Park, which is where Spruce and his friends live, because, “unfortunately,” he says, “our cousins in the wild are having a tough time out there – there may be as few as 10,000 pairs of us left in the wild!

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