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My was just to meet people — because that was also progress. It may take a while, but if that's what you want, meeting a lot of people will very likely get you there.

After trying to keep up with ten different simultaneous conversations with complete strangers, I inevitably started mixing up their dogs and allergies to dogs, so I had to put a stop to it.

I turned into that sketch-ball who only wants to talk about when we’re meeting up. I sat down across from him and unknowingly boarded his own personal rollercoaster. And I got in maybe three sentences the entire hour. Pros: I’m getting really good at leaving dates and not feeling bad about it. Bottom line: I will not see him again, unless his parents pay me to babysit. He was muscular in a lean way and I distinctly remember fantasizing about those strong arms pulling my hair.

And it really doesn’t work if you post a picture and prove yourself wrong. Oooh, you own a car and a house and a toaster and a lawn mower? We all love getting emails about how “Wow, you travel? I have totally been to every township in Pennsylvania! No one wants to discuss babies or your mother on a first date. I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT SHOUTING MOSTLY JUST MAKES US WANT TO TAKE OUR PANTS OFF. Preferably, your pants should be about to fall off. This makes you sound like a text-messaging 14-year-old girl. If you are, please stop dating on Craigslist and go make a sparkly unicorn book cover or something. It’s also wonderful if your penis is a weird color or shape.

Try posting a few pictures and let the audience play hot or not in their own heads. And they really don’t want to discuss them in a first email. This is especially lovely for those of us browsing at work (We’re not supposed to do that? Do you not know that it’s not supposed to look like a purple question mark?

I decided I’d start with the most vibrant and lively dating hub of them all — Craigslist.

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