There are some meetings I can go into and run the show, and others where I have to be subordinate.
But what I realized is there’s a reason they call this the dating “game” and if you want to play, you have to learn the rules.
This doesn’t mean I’m not who I am around men, it just means that I use the same skills in my personal life I learned to use in my professional.
They often try to change partners who have no desire to be changed. 😉 See, there’s a price to pay for “being ourselves.” And if you’re going to express your opinion, you can’t be surprised if other people disagree with you. Maureen Dowd, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times, wrote an entire book about this, called “Are Men Necessary? One of her main observations is that if an amazing woman like her could be single, there must be something wrong with men.
When the partner pulls away because he doesn’t want to be with someone so critical, the “direct” person concludes that he couldn’t appreciate her “honesty.” If this makes you feel personally indicted, welcome to the club. I write things that are, to say the least, provocative…and yet I always get surprised when I receive angry emails from readers. And if you’re trying to win each argument, you can’t be too shocked if he wants a woman who can be a little more acquiescent. What she doesn’t acknowledge is that despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant. You are a go-getter and worthy of everyone’s respect. And with a generation of women who pose questions like “Are Men Necessary?
In fact, all of my female friends comment on what a great catch I am. Women reading this may feel bad for him, yet also want to him to know that it’s not BECAUSE he’s nice that he’s not attracting women. It’s because he constantly seeks the approval of others. It’s because he sacrifices his personal power to be conciliatory. These traits sometimes come with a significant downside that is painful to acknowledge. The flip side of being charismatic is being self-centered.