At a certain point, the jig will be up, and then what kind of relationship will you be left with?And frankly, attempting to even figure out what people want from you — and what they deem “intimidating” — is a losing battle.
Basically, it seemed to me that if a woman is better than a man she’s dating in any aspect of her life, she’s automatically cast as “too intimidating.”I was immediately pissed, because a lot of the characteristics that men evidently considered intimidating were fundamental parts of me.
I’ve always been incredibly driven in my career, and I consider myself moderately successful.
The men who I wanted to be dating, on the other hand, wouldn’t call me for a second date, because they’re men who like forthright, independent, complicated women — and that’s not who I was being.
It took me a while to understand that, by covering up my supposedly intimidating attributes, I wasn’t “fixing” myself; I just wasn’t being true to myself.
It’s an odd realization to make, because part of what makes dating so complicated is the idea that you need to perform for the person sitting in front of you.